gsmith
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Never Married? - 2007/08/06 12:47
I just created my profile, or updated it, and was reluctant to include my "status", but checked out the drop down menu and there it was, "Never Married". I feel like I'm the only one.
Anyone else never go through that process, never take those vows, possibly cohabitate, but never marry? Anyone? How can my post-high school experience have been so vastly different from everyone else's? I not only never married, I never had children.
I know, I know... 
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bwilliams77
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/06 14:21
You're not the only one who has never married. There are others and they will surface. Nothing wrong with never marrying. You're probably more happy than a lot of people out there.
Beverly Trainer Williams
Class of '77 |
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gsmith
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/06 16:31
Oh sure, I'm happy, I don't mean to imply I'm not, I'd just love to meet more happily single and independent fortysomething women (um, who never had children), and men. This seems impossible to find, so I feel like the odd one out.
At the 25 year reunion, I felt like I was the only single, never married person there. I have just always questioned everything, like why I "should" get married, and/or have kids. It seems like most people just sort of do it, like it's the most natural thing in the world. I wonder if everyone has found a soul mate, but me, or if most people simply "settle". Food for thought.
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Byron
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/06 18:39
I did the marriage thing for 19 years. There were good times and bad times. The last few years were more bad than good. I think being married can make it more difficult to walk away, when you know it's gone bad and won't get better. But I guess it depends on the individual situation. I have nothing against marriage. I will never say never again, or anything like that. I kind of believe people should really have no doubts about the whole deal, if they do marry. Just my 2 cents worth. I hope no one takes any of this too seriously.
I have no children either. I always dread that old inevitable question. When are you going to have children? I don't think it is a sin to not have them. On the other hand, I notice the special bond that a family has. I wonder what that would feel like.
Byron
class of 74
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gsmith
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/06 22:30
Well, men can have children far into "old age", but I have heard that the chances for autism are greater. There are plenty of children who need good homes - I wish more people would consider adoption.
If I had the money to support a child I would love to adopt a refugee from a war-torn country, possibly Iraq.
I have a lot of opinions about marriage, but I'll spare the forum. 
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Byron
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/07 07:26
I completely agree with the adoption deal. What greater gift could there be to a child. To accept responsibility for them, without them being biologically yours.
My opinions on marriage were not meant to be anything other than an expression of my own life experiences, so far.
Byron
class of 74
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Jackie
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/07 07:42
Kids aren't my thing either so I have 3 cats and
a dog
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gsmith
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/07 11:17
Cats and dogs are cheaper in the long run, but they can't care for you when you get old. Imagine growing old and infirm, and moving in with your dog and his family. Never happen. 
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Byron
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/07 11:43
It could happen in a Kafka story. 
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gsmith
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/07 15:06
True! And, for the record, I appreciate any opinions you share on marriage.
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JMooreCollins
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/08 23:55
Okay...can't resist replying to this one! I'm currently in the middle of divorce number 2...this one was for 17 years, and the first one was for 6 years. I have a 22 year old daughter and a 2 1/2 year old grandson. So, I guess I am qualified to respond.
I like the committment that goes with marriage. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. No, I'll never say never again.
As for having kids...have kids to have grandkids. They're wonderful! My daughter put us through H###!
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Byron
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/09 07:31
This has morphed into more than it started out to be, I think. I like this forum. Perhaps we can keep it going for awhile.
I believe you can be in a committed relationship and do just fine, without being married. If both people believe strongly that a legal marriage would be in their best interest, then more power to them. However, in this country our marriage laws can actually work against you, in some serious financial situations. I know, life is not fair, but sometimes our laws are not either. I have known of many cases where one of a married couple can become seriously ill, yet both must literally have to exhaust all of their financial assets, to be able to obtain government assistance. Even if you have a good insurance policy, it could reach it's lifetime limit, in a catastrophic case. If you are in a committed relationship without being legally married, you may avoid this situation. There can be many complications either way. I know of a few more and I'm sure there are many, that I don't know. My lawyer explained a few to me when I went through my divorce. I will leave with this one example for now. Just food for thought.
Byron
class of 74
Just a joke to break the ice.
A Groucho Marx quote.
"I think marriage is a fine institution, if you like living in an institution."
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gsmith
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/08/09 13:16
I was in one relationship for almost six years, living together for four of those years, but I have to say that not being married left it more "open" than if we had been married. I think I always felt it would be easy to extricate myself because of no binding legalities. Which was the case, basically. Breaking up is still just as hard, but without the lawyers and courts being involved.
I also lived with someone while in college - we were together five years, and were friends afterward, a novelty for me - but only lived together for two years. We didn't work, living together, but if I hadn't met someone else eventually, we may have gotten married finally. No regrets. To me, marriage is what the vows say, 'til death, so divorce would not/should not be an option. Must be some sort of Catholic genes passed down to me from my mom.
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Juliedoe
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/10/29 17:15
all i can say is that i think my husband thought he was single...
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m.crumbley
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Re:Never Married? - 2007/10/29 19:13
Girl dont feel bad, I never marrie either and I think
I was able to do a lot more with my life because of it.
If I had gotten married, I think I would still be
working at Windixe baggin groceries...Lol
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